"You will, but not yet"

“You will, but not yet”

This is a phrase I find myself saying a lot.

I say it to the beautiful woman, sitting in my room with tears threatening to roll down her cheeks as she tells me she wants to have ‘normal sex’ with her husband. She has come to see me because since her baby was born 5 months ago, penetrative sex has hurt. They have tried three times now and it feels like it’s getting worse, not better. She tells me her sister said she felt back to ‘normal’ about 8 weeks after giving birth and she thought she’d be back to normal by now too.
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I say it to the beautiful woman who has started training for the half marathon. She has always run 5kms with no problem, but since she started training beyond 10kms she has been leaking urine. She thought this was something that only happened after you had kids? She hasn’t even done that yet, and she is worried this will get worse. But she is even more worried she’ll never be able to achieve her goal she and her friend have set themselves of finishing the half marathon together.

I say it to the beautiful woman who gave birth 3 weeks ago and wants her figure back but her tummy is still soft and protrudes forward when she stands. She is worried about muscle separation and wants to get back to yoga as soon as she can, but her baby is clingy and wants to breastfeed all the time. She is exhausted and wants to know why her recovery seems to be taking longer than she expected. 

Our bodies are amazing. They are capable of producing and sustaining life, and achieving brilliant physical feats of strength, endurance and flexibility. Although our bodies are miraculous, they are not magic. Tissue healing is incredible, torn or stretched tissue will mend given time and the appropriate conditions. Weakened muscles can strengthen with consistent training and good technique. In the world we live in, we are inpatient. We are used to getting things before we have earned them. This does not happen with the human body. 

So I tell these beautiful women, “you will do these things, but not yet.” Do not be pressured by your friends, sisters, or social media feeds to rush your body. Seek good advice from a source you trust and follow your own path to recovery that feels right for your body. You have the rest of your life to achieve these goals, right now, it is time to heal and rehabilitate.