Trust Yourself

Pregnancy, Labour, Breastfeeding, Parenting. Lots of people have done it, lots of people are doing it. Lots of people want to tell you how to do it. 
As a new mum, or back up, as soon as you announce your pregnancy, people are full of stories and anecdotes about their experience, and very keen to pass on well intended ‘words of wisdom’.
And unfortunately, you also get conflicting messages and advice from the bevy of health professionals you come in contact with, particularly in those early, sleep deprived days as you are beginning your life as a parent.

Breastfeeding issues? Oh you need to express more. No! Baby to breast ALL the time. More sleep will do the trick! Rub breast milk over your nipples after every feed. No! Get the lansinoh on it! Just some fresh air and sunshine is all you need! Massage the lump toward the nipple, NO - away! Heat before a feed and cold after. More time between feeds, feed as often as you can to keep the milk moving! 

AAAAAHHHHHHHHGGGG!!!!! It makes me stressed even writing it. I’m going to say something now that could well put me out of a job. 

You already know what to do.

The reason you think you don’t is not your fault. It’s a combination of access to too much information and bad old wives tales. 

Let me paint you a picture. I see women who have blocked ducts or mastitis. These are the sickest women in my care. They come in and when they’re in the thick of it, they are clammy, spaced out and desperate. Not only are they very sick, but they are sleep deprived (cos they’re a mum of a newborn), in a state of physical recovery (cos they’ve just given birth), and they are stressed to the max because their baby’s lifeline (their breast) is under very serious threat. 

You know what makes mastitis worse? Stress. You know what stresses a mum more than anything? Feeling confused and helpless.

Now, there is lots I can do for this lady but the best thing I can do right away is tell her to TRUST HERSELF. You’re a mum now, that comes with instincts. Trust them, they’re good. More than anyone’s advice, more than the doctor, more than the midwife, the lactation consultant and more than my advice, do what feels right for you and your baby. 
The feeling I get when I see the lady’s reaction is bitter sweet. I love that look of relief, enlightenment and trust; but I hate that the reason they understand what I’m saying is because they have been made to think they don’t know what’s best. Not by any one person in particular, in fact, the most reliable culprit will be themselves, that good old self doubt we are all so good at. An injection of self belief and an excuse to stop wasting precious time googling their condition for a better answer can work miracles. 

​To all mum’s out there, you already know what to do. Stop and listen to your baby and your body, and trust yourself. Then get some rest. That’s always my second piece of advice :)